Relationships and intimacy
Sexual health is as important as your mental and physical health. But it’s not just about contraception and preventing sexually transmitted infections, it’s about empowering yourself with information to help support your sexual decisions and manage how you approach sexual relationships.
Having sex with someone can be a big deal, and it’s normal to feel nervous. You should not feel scared or pressured to have sex or as if you don’t have a choice. It can be awkward talking about sex, and there is still stigma, but communication is the key to safe, worry-free sex.
Childline have a guide for having sex for the first time – which is still applicable each time you have a new partner:
- Do you feel you could say no if you wanted to but still want to do it?
- Can you have fun together without anything sexual involved?
- Do you each want it for yourself, not for the other person or to fit in with friends or others’ expectations of you?
- Are you certain nobody’s forcing you, pressuring you or coercing you?
- Have you and your partner discussed using condoms and contraception, agreed what happens next and whether or not to tell your friends afterwards and talked about the implications if you become pregnant?
Contraception and sexual health advice is great for supporting you to have safe, worry-free sex. But relationships can be so much more than physical intimacy.
Communication is the key for building strong relationships and deepening your sexual connection.
Talking about what you do and don’t like; what is and isn’t acceptable; what contraception to use; being clear about consent and respecting your partner’s decisions will help to develop your relationships.
There are some great articles with advice on how to strengthen relationships and how to understand and connect more with your partner to develop greater intimacy.
Sexual consent is defined as a clear, knowing and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.
It requires that all individuals participating freely agree to participate and that they have the capacity to make that choice. Consent by law is when a person ‘agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice’
Consent can be withdrawn at any time and should always be present in sexual activity. Consent should never be assumed and you you should never feel pressured into doing something sexual.
Find out more about consent here.
Masturbation is a term for when you touch your own genitals for pleasure. It’s a great way of exploring your own body and finding out more about what you enjoy sexually.
Masturbation is natural and normal for all genders. How often you masturbate is personal to you, and it is good way to get to know your own body so you know what feels good to you sexually.
Benefits of masturbation
Masturbation is natural and is a safe way to experience sexual pleasure. If you don’t have a partner, it’s a safe way to experience orgasm without any risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection (STI)
Masturbation can also help to reduce stress and many see it as an essential part of self-care.
Knowing how to give yourself pleasure can be very empowering and by exploring what you like and dislike can improve your sexual relationships with partners.
Also, by exploring your body you are more aware of any changes, lumps, bumps, swelling and discharges that may require medical attention.
How to masturbate
There is no correct or incorrect way to masturbate. Most people find what suits them through experimentation.
If you have a penis, you will usually rub the shaft and head of the penis until you achieve ejaculation.
If you have a vulva and vagina, people usually use their fingers to stimulate the area around their clitoris and/or inside their vagina.
Sometimes people may use sex toys, like vibrators, to help with stimulation.
Masturbation and hygiene
Masturbation is a safe way to experience sexual pleasure, but it is important to be aware of hygiene to avoid infection or irritation.
Ideally, you should wash your hands before and after and clean any sex toys you may use, especially if you have shared them with a partner. You can find more information on genital hygiene here
If you’ve been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection (STI), it is advisable to take extra care and it is important to wash your hands before touching another part of your body or someone else.
